08/20/2023 ~ Twelfth Sunday after Pentecost ~ Twentieth Sunday in Ordinary Time ~ Proper 15 ~ Genesis 45:1-15; Psalm 133; Isaiah 56:1, 6-8; Psalm 67; Romans 11:1-2a, 29-32; Matthew 15: (10-20), 21-28 ~ VIDEO OF FULL SERVICE: https://vimeo.com/showcase/7960701/video/857620507

Brokenness and Wholeness

“…Jesus… said, ‘Listen, hear and understand: it is not what enters the mouth that defiles a person; it is what comes out of the mouth that defiles a person.’” — Matthew 15:10-11.

I want to start my comments by offering a little family history, what happened in my family, to my family structure, when I was a child. (Slight pause.) Way back when I was about five years old, in 19xx (the pastor puts hand to mouth and mumbles), my father had what was called in the parlance of those days a nervous break down.

Today we would have recognized this episode as the onset of the mental illness known as Passive Dependency or Passive Aggression. One of the consequences of this is at an early age, perhaps because I was eldest son I, effectively, became a leader in our family unit.

Once I was in my late twenties I spent some time in therapy exploring what had happened to me at that tender age and how it affected me. For me a basic meaning of the fact that this happened when I was at that early age, is I started to think like an adult even though I was very young. But the real lesson I took away from therapy is no matter how my relationship with my father and my mother had an affect on me, I was in control of my own life.

Indeed, it is sometimes said we Americans tend to blame everything that’s wrong on our parents. But, therefore, one consequence of placing blame in that way can be it seems like and it feels like we want to take very little self responsibility, personal responsibility for who we are, for what we become.

I think someone who seeks to find locations for blame— one’s parents or some other relational situation— is often simply looking for an excuse. At some point one’s life and one’s behavior belong to that person, that individual. That individual has to do the work of confronting the problem.

I need to be clear I am not dismissing the idea that each of us needs help. As I just indicated I, myself, sought out help. Neither am I dismissing the reality of trauma beyond our own control and the sometimes irrevocable damage that can cause. What I am addressing is the idea that there can be a very human, very real and sometimes even convoluted effort to avoid responsibility when an opposite course of action is both necessary and needed.

I find this an interesting example out of my musical theater background: in the musical Into the Woods James Lapine and Stephen Sondheim combine and retell several fairly tales. In one of the stories, Jack of Jack and the Beanstalk has climbed to the sky where the big, tall, terrible giants of that fable live. The plot pivots on the fact that in turn a giant climbs down said beanstalk and reeks havoc in the land.

At that point, with destruction all around them, the characters turn on one another. They try to assign blame on each other for inviting and inciting the destruction the giant has wrought.

They sing these words at one another: See, It’s Your Fault; Yes, It’s Your Fault. In short, by accusing someone else, by avoiding their own part in what has happened, each individual attempts to avoid dealing the real problem.

In this case what’s happening is not just an individual problem but is everyone’s mutual problem. And that problem is staring them in the face: a giant is spreading devastation. Moral of the story: stop the blame game; get to work! (Slight pause.)

I think one of the reasons I have had a modicum of success in my adult life is I worked hard to get over the blame game. I realized it was up to me to be who I am and to be what I want to be. Instead of finding blame by wallowing in my past I saw what happened to me as an opportunity to move forward. I used my history in a positive way.

Another family story: my wife Bonnie and I got married relatively late as those things go and did not have children. As sometimes happens when a couple has no children, we tend to treat our nieces with great affection. Our niece Phoebe, a doctor who lives in San Diego, is special.

Phoebe grew up on Deer Isle, Maine. So in one sense winding up as a doctor in San Diego is quite a leap. The only down side of her living in San Diego is we do not get to see her often enough.

Phoebe’s personal history has an interesting piece to it. Very early on, when she was about five— does that sound familiar?— , Phoebe exhibited a specific trait. Phoebe was stubborn. Some say she was born stubborn.

I do not know if that’s true. But I do know Phoebe was stubborn because the family legend says at that point she got into a match of wills with her Mom.

There was something on her plate at supper she simply would not eat— some vegetable she did not find palatable. Phoebe’s Mom demanded she sit there until she ate it. The second part of the family legend says this serving of vegetable is still sitting on that plate to this very day.

Now, a minute ago I said Phoebe is a doctor. I want to suggest being stubborn is exactly what empowered Phoebe to become a doctor. About the time she was going from grade school to high school she knew she wanted to be a doctor.

And she was stubborn about that. No one was going to prevent her from becoming a doctor. And now she is a doctor.

To be clear, being stubborn is not often a pleasant trait. On the other hand, when I say Phoebe was stubborn I do not mean she is unpleasant. She is wonderful. I have seen notes of praise about her work from both her colleagues and her patients. What Phoebe understood is she could use her stubborn streak in a very, very positive way. (Slight pause.)

These are words in the work known as Matthew: “…Jesus… said, ‘Listen, hear and understand: it is not what enters the mouth that defiles a person; it is what comes out of the mouth that defiles a person.’” (Slight pause.)

When this reading was introduced it was said we hear two stories back to back in these words. One story concerns what brokenness really is. The second story seeks to help us understand faith makes us whole.

My take is the traits of both brokenness and wholeness together found here are a very complete picture of we humans, humanity, and a very complete picture of the relationship we humans, humanity, have with God. So, when it comes to our humanness, let’s start at the beginning. This is a given: no one is perfect. If you think you are you’re dismissed.

And it seems to me many people pursue the aforementioned blame game, blaming others, because of their own shortcomings. And it seems to me many people, in fact, want to blame not just their parents but any other convenient target for their own short comings. And that is what (quote:) “…comes out of the mouth…,” isn’t it? That stuff that defiles. (Slight pause.)

That brings me to the topic of the journey with God, our journey with God through life. I am convinced our journey with God is what life is about. But this journey with God is not about just our individual journey. We are, all of us, together on a journey with God, together.

And, to reiterate, no one, not one of us, is perfect. Despite imperfection on our individual journey with God our task is to work on our relationship with God. And in our mutual journeys together with one another, our task is to work on our relationship with each other and with God. Now, a different name for that relationship, those relationships with God and one another, is what I call the journey of seeking faith.

Do we have faith in God? Do we trust God? It seems to me those who spew the evil Jesus addresses in the first story, those who speak evil, do not have faith in God, do not trust God. And so what (quote:) “…comes out of the mouth… defiles…”

It also seems to me that the Canaanite woman displays an amazing degree of faith in God. Because of that faith she understands God will not abandon her. And perhaps that is key: understanding no matter what, God will not abandon us. (Slight pause.)

There are some who say these two stories, as they appear in the work known as Matthew one after the other, have no relationship at all. Obviously I disagree.

As suggested earlier, one story concerns what brokenness is really about. The second seeks to help us understand faith makes us whole. And faith does not just make us whole. Faith repairs us, restores us to wholeness— our brokenness, our wholeness— all pieces of our human frailty.

And how does faith make us whole? Faith empowers us to see our life with God, our relationship with God is real, can be empowering. Our faith empowers us to live our life in the fullest way possible. Amen.

Elijah Kellogg Church, Harpswell, Maine
08/20/2023

ENDPIECE: It is the practice of the Pastor to speak after the Closing Hymn, but before the Choral Response and Benediction. This is a précis of what was said: “Earlier I said we humans are not perfect. The Preamble of the Constitution of these United States presents us an interesting oxymoron. And the founders were not stupid. They certainly knew it was an oxymoron. The preamble says the intent of the document was to (quote:) “…form a more perfect Union”— more perfect— a contradiction. If you are perfect how can you be more perfect? I say every day we humans need to strive to be more perfect and perhaps one way to traverse that path is to every day strive to deepen our relationship with God.”

BENEDICTION: We are commissioned by God to carry the peace of God into the world. Our words and our deeds will be used by God, for we become messengers of the Word of God in our actions. Let us recognize that the transforming power of God is forever among us. And may we love God so much, that we love nothing else too much. May we be so in awe of God that we are in awe of no one and nothing else. Amen.