08/06/2023 ~ Tenth Sunday after Pentecost ~ Eighteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time ~ Proper 13 ~ Genesis 32:22-31; Psalm 17:1-7, 15; Isaiah 55:1-5; Psalm 145:8-9, 14-21; Romans 9:1-5l; Matthew 14:13-21 ~ VIDEO OF FULL SERVICE: https://vimeo.com/showcase/7960701/video/853079119

Wrestling with God

“…the other answered, ‘You shall no longer be called Jacob’ (which means heel grabber) ‘but you shall be called Israel, the one who wrestled with God, for you have striven with God and with mortals and you have prevailed.’” — Genesis 32:28.

This is a poem.

I thought life would be easy—
I wonder why.
Perhaps I got that notion
from my mother
since she made life seem easy,
not from my father,
who was strong,
gentle and tried to teach me
about the wisdom of the sky
from whence life
often sears and tries the soul.

I know now that life is not easy
and as I lay prostrate
on the ground.
I can hear that other one—
I can hear the sound
of heavy breathing,
and my own,
and as I moan in pain
we grapple neath
the moonlit sky.

I thought life would be easy—
I wonder why.

Things change but the sky does not
and it is hard to see
where I needed to go
for no one gave me anything—
a map, a plan, a route to take.
So I had to make
and shake and break
and do whatever I had to do
to see me through.

And You! You!
You are here beside me
and I know not why.
Are You the sky?

What if I surrender, give up, stop?
Will that matter?
Will You offer a blessing?
Will that matter?
And what does it matter
that the sky goes on and on and on—
and that the stars glisten
above our heads until dawn,
and then the stars are… gone?

(Pause.) The reading from Genesis is the famous story of Jacob wrestling. ‘Wrestling with Whom?’ is a key and difficult question. Does Jacob wrestle with angels? Does Jacob wrestle with a person?

Does Jacob wrestle with self inflicted demons? Does Jacob wrestle with the human race? Does Jacob wrestle for the human race— all humanity? Does Jacob… wrestle… with… God? (Slight pause.)

It says in the reading (quote): “…you shall be called Israel, the one who wrestled with God, for you have striven with God and with mortals and you have prevailed.” To be clear: the very word Israel means one who has wrestled with God. And to be clear, the deeper meaning of the word ‘wrestle’ is one who deals with and who struggles with some reality, in some form, and in this instance it seems the reality is, in some form, God.

These words also indicated an even more expansive meaning than someone who has only wrestled with God. It plainly says Jacob wrestles with “God and mortals.”

The piece of the story not read today, the content of the narrative both before and after this scene, concerns the relationship of Jacob and the brother of Jacob, Esau from whom Jacob has been estranged. And, indeed, Jacob has led a life which is both successful and contentious.

So Jacob gets by. And Jacob gets by wrestling with both family and with everyone else. And while I don’t want to place emphasis on the combative aspect of the word ‘wrestling’ it is clear Jacob comes away from the struggle changed by the engagement, hence changed by life, itself. Jacob is injured, traumatized by life.

Who among us has not been traumatized by life in some way? At some point each of us has had to wrestle. Each of us has had a heavy heart because of something. (Slight pause.)

Yes, we all wonder what the future holds. Yes, we all have had failures and times which inflict feelings of being unworthy. Yes, it’s likely many of us has faced the death of a loved one— a parent, a spouse, even a child.

Some of us have experienced the anxiety of being socially marginalized. Some may be perplexed, even angry because we feel obstacles are constantly put in our way. And yes, we sometimes ask: “Does… God… care?” (Slight pause.)

I think if there is anything this story says, it says that God does care. It says that God engages with us in life — all of it— every day.

However and rumor to the contrary, God is not Santa Claus. God is not some ‘Fix-it’ person. Rather, God stands in solidarity with us. God is present to us.

And perhaps that’s the hard part for us about us wrestling with God. Perhaps what we want is Santa Claus rather than God. But Santa Claus is a fantasy, a pipe dream. A God Who is really God does not deal in fantasy.

And life which is really life is not a fantasy. Real life consists of ups and downs, joys and concerns, struggles and silliness. (Slight pause.)

The Rev. Lillian Daniel is currently the Conference Minister at the Michigan Conference of the United Church of Christ. She wrote this reflection. (Slight pause.)

“On Tuesday nights once a month, a group gathers in the parlor of a church I know to knit prayer shawls, baby blankets and booties for the members of that congregation. The knitting ministry meets the same night as the church council.”

“So the council sits around a table in the conference room grappling what might euphemistically be called big picture decisions about the life of the church. Just a few feet away on the couches across the hall other people are knitting for the sick, the new babies or those in need of any kind of healing. I think it’s nice that this combination of ministry happens on these Tuesday nights, like a check and balance system for what leadership in the church is all about.”

“I still have the prayer shawl the last local church I served gave me when I was sick for a couple weeks. I still have the prayer shawl I received from yet another church when my mother passed away.”

“I also inherited the prayer shawl my mother’s church made for her when she fell ill. They all lie around my house as extra blankets in the family room, ordinary objects infused with prayer in the midst of our ordinary lives.”

“The prayer shawl didn’t cure my mother’s fatal illness. But there is no question in my mind it was a conduit of healing. It remains a symbol to me of how all churches are knit together by the Holy Spirit.”

“New babies receive a hand-made gift to keep them warm, blessed by prayer before it is given away. It’s a symbol of a beautiful Biblical metaphor that goes back many thousands of years.”

“It seems people have been knitting for one another forever, perhaps ever since God, the original knitter, knit each one of us together in our mother’s womb. So indeed, we are wonderfully made.” — the Rev. Lillian Daniel on meetings and on life. (Slight pause.)

This is a poem.
I thought life would be easy—
I wonder why.
Perhaps I got that notion
from my mother
since she made life seem easy,
not from my father,
who was strong,
gentle and tried to teach me
about the wisdom of the sky
from whence life
often sears and tries the soul.

I know now that life is not easy
as I lay prostrate
on the ground.
I can hear that other one—
I can hear the sound
of heavy breathing,
and my own,
as I moan in pain
we grapple neath
the moonlit sky.

I thought life would be easy—
I wonder why.

Things change but the sky does not
and it is hard to see
where I needed to go
for no one gave me anything—
a map, a plan, a route to take.
So I had to make
and shake and break
and do whatever I had to do
to see me through.

And You! You!
You are here beside me
and I know not why.
Are You the sky?

What if I surrender, give up, stop?
Will that matter?
Will You offer a blessing?
Will that matter?
And what does it matter
that the sky goes on and on and on—
and that the stars glisten
above our heads until dawn,
and then the stars are… gone? [1]

Amen.

08/06/2023
Elijah Kellogg Church, Harpswell, Maine

ENDPIECE: It is the practice of the Pastor to speak after the Closing Hymn, but before the Choral Response and Benediction. This is a précis of what was said: “So I say this up front, the title of the poem at the beginning and end the meditation is Jacob’s Lament and yes, I wrote it. Next, I have this quote which I once as a Thought for Meditation. It’s from Biblical scholar Walter Bruggemann and is about the God of Scripture: ‘The image of God painted in Scripture is a God of intentional artistic illusiveness’— intentional artistic illusiveness— Walter Bruggemann. God is real, but like anyone else we know, even or perhaps especially a close friend, God cannot be explained. God needs to be experienced.”

BENEDICTION: Let us never fear to seek the truth God reveals. Let us live as a resurrection people. Let us understand every day as a new adventure in faith as the Creator draws us into community. So, go now, go in safety— for you cannot go where God is not. Go now— go in love— for love alone endures. Go now— go with purpose and God will honor your dedication. And last, go in peace— for it is a gift from God to those whose hearts and minds are in Christ, Jesus. Amen.

[1] This poem was composed for this sermon by the Pastor. Its title is Jacob’s Lament.